Breaking Ground
What do you most consistently fight with other people about? Why? How does that go for you?
The Dig
This Sunday, we continued our series 12 Words, in which we’re using the 12 Step Program as a tool for experiencing Christlike transformation. In particular, we dove into Step 9: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others” & the spiritual principle of reconciliation.
What stands out to you about this Step? How do you define reconciliation? What does healthy reconciliation require?
Next, read Matthew 5:38-42. Here, Jesus instructs his followers to adopt a fully non-violent response to wrongs. Specifically, using real scenarios from his world, Jesus rejects both running away & retaliation in favor of a third way that neither ignores wrongs nor perpetuates it through retaliation.
How do you tend to see people responding to harms in our world today? How does this “third way” approach differ from what you’ve identified?
Why do you think Jesus calls us to respond to conflict in this way? How does it produce a peace that other responses to conflict can’t?
In his sermon, Pastor Mike used this Step & teaching to discuss how to make good, healthy, Christlike amends. In doing so, he argued that such amends:
- Must be direct.
- Must address what happened (both the specific harms & their causes).
- Must only focus on our wrongs (not the other person’s).
- Must include a sincere apology & a commitment to change.
- Must not cause any further harm.
Does this reflect the kinds of amends that you’re used to making & receiving? Which parts are different from what you’re used to?
Why do we need each of these ingredients to make a truly healthy & healing amends? What happens when one, or more, are missing from an amends? Alternatively, what does it do for both parties when all the ingredients are included?
Where do you need to make amends in this season? How can this teaching & Step help you do so in a healing, freeing way?
Getting Out of the Hole
In this series, take time each week to reflect upon the Step & Word that we covered in the Sunday sermon.
- Take your list from last week & sort all the names into three groups: 1.) people you’re ready to apologize to now; 2.) people you can apologize to soon with a little work; & 3.) people who you can never apologize to directly.
- For the first group, commit to reaching out to these people starting this week. Use the above guidance to figure out the content of your amends & prepare yourself to make it ASAP.
- For those in the second category, begin praying & asking God for guidance in when to make the amends.
- Finally, for the third category, consider what a “living amends” might be for each one. Identify one way that you can change your life in order to ensure that you don’t hurt anyone else in the same way again.
Additional Resources*
TheBibleProject.com
Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous by Bill W
The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
Coming Up This Week:*
Sunday, July 13th: Join us next Sunday as we continue our series 12 Words!
* Please see mye3.org for details.